I grabbed a napkin and attempted to wipe the drink from my eyes as I said, "Lady, unless your husband is Robert Falcone, you have the wrong woman." SO YOU ARE DENYING IT?" she shrieked."Yes!" I exclaimed. "Besides, I probably don't even know who your husband is." My husband is Peter Miller."Well shit, it turned out that I did know her husband, but not because I was fucking him; he and my husband were golf buddies. I had only met Peter a few times in passing. He was a handsome man with black hair and brown eyes, and until this rather embarrassing moment, I had never met his wife. "Look Mrs. Miller, I swear to you that I am not having an affair with your husband." Then I said loud enough for everyone to hear, "OR ANYONE ELSE'S HUSBAND EITHER!"With that, Robert and Peter walked up. "Emily, what have you done?" asked Peter."I ... I ... I just—" and with that, Emily Miller burst into tears.Damn, now I felt sorry for this poor woman. Peter wrapped his arms around his wife and said, "Bob,. Secure."He smiled. "Yeah, but about that incident..." You were there how long before that happened?" Six months, give or take." You weren't one of those, what's Dad call them? 'Rimffs'?" REMF," I said. "Stands for..." I know what it stands for," I said. (Auth. Note: Rear Echelon Mother Fucker) "You weren't in the rear with the gear."He laughed. "Your dad told you about those things?"I laughed. I remember good poetry. "He had other terms. Said that was something that bothered him after he made major and couldn't justify going out on operations." That would be like taking all the music courses and never getting a chance to pick up an instrument." Sort of, I guess," I said. "But people don't assault the flute-player." He grabbed my butt and squeezed. I squealed. "Not THAT kind of assault, beast!"A puff of wind made the stern squat and the wake took on a louder, musical note."You wrinkle your nose like that one more time and I will show you an assault." Wrinkle my nose?" Yes," he said..
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